I have worked the past 20+ years in construction/service industry and have heard some great comments along the way. I had the pleasure of sitting in a meeting with a buyer that fabricated a lot of information that was far from the entire truth.
Buyer: "So, are you calling me a liar?"
response: "I'm just stating the obvious facts"
So what are some of the best lines you have heard?
-------------------- The ONLY thing worse than losing.........IS QUITTING!!!!!!!
Prostaff: Gamakatsu. Culprit. RipTide. Kistler Rods. Burris Scopes.
Back in my managerial days had a phone call from a guy trying to sell industrial cleaning chemicals. He started with a 55 gal drum and was working his way down through 30 gal and 5 gal. Finally he said " What is your position?" I said "I'm sitting down" He said "What are you some kind of smart aZZ wasting my time" I said hey you called me and then he hung up.
-------------------- Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
Several years ago I was blazing up Hwy 71 in the middle of the night heading to Ifalls. I hadn't seen signs of a human being for 20 minutes, so I was making time!!! I witnessed ahead of me headlights I deemed too far apart and too high for a patrol. I never touched my brakes as I whistled past the truck. I watched in amazement the unit hit his breaks and swing around behind me. Still thinking "NO WAY!!!" I held speed. The unit is now closing in on me, and I was flying. YIKES! As I pulled over the patrol nearly ran up to my vehicle and as if at a loss for words proceeded to ask me how fast I was going. I replied "I'm Not sure" officer asks again "Do YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE GOING!!!" Again I answer "I'm not sure" Again he repeats after a few seconds pause!! "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!!!!????" I answer "If I guess it righ on am I going to get out of this ticket???" He chuckled as he peered over his glasses to see if I was for real. LOL!!! WOuldn't suggest that response.
-------------------- Chris Granrud - RainyDaze Guide Service World-Class Walleye, Crappie, Pike & Smallmouth Bass Fishing! Visit RainyDaze Guide Service to book your next adventure!
I work in the trucking industry and deal with drivers daily and have heard some pretty inteligent stuff I get the green light to say whatever i feel is needed at the moment as long as it is necesary. I used to get real fired up but that just stresses me out! So now my big one is when a driver will call in with some STUPID questions I kindly answer the question and say hey do you want me to come drive the truck for ya ,too....usually a pause of silence or a click...yet to hear anything dumb from any of them again to
Nide! LOL! "Where are all the big fish??" Aaah reel up! Now put down on this side of the boat! LOL!
-------------------- Chris Granrud - RainyDaze Guide Service World-Class Walleye, Crappie, Pike & Smallmouth Bass Fishing! Visit RainyDaze Guide Service to book your next adventure!
I work on the loading dock at a corigated box plant. I love it when drivers come in and I ask them WHO they are picking up for and they just say. "I'm here to pick up some boxes."
-------------------- "We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are always there for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you." -Jeff Warner
My brother was pulled over the other day near Chicago. The officer asked him if he knew why he was getting pulled over. My bro replied "depends on how long you've been following me" . Luckily the officer had a sense of humor and let him go with a warning.
-------------------- Struttin, ruttin, and fishin!!!
I had a job at a gas station for an afternoon....this BIG lady was tee off because I was new and struggling with the cash register...after she got done ragging on me...I told her
"Sorry for your weight". That was the end of my shift.
A potential house buyer hired me to do a house inspection for him. He then discussed my report with the realtor. She called me and proceeded to chew me out, I asked if any of my report were false, she didn't know. My response........... Ma'am if you didn't want the buyer to know the truth them you should have hired me first......... then you could do what ever your conscience would allow with the report. CLICK
I used to deliver appliances about 25 years back. We were delivering a standard refrigerator with the freezer on top, and when we brought it in the house, the lady says, "That's the wrong refrigerator. I bought one with the freezer on the bottom".
I'm thinking, crap, we brought the wrong one, but what came out of my mouth was "Well, there really isn't any such thing as one with the freezer on the bottom. We just install them upside down and flip the doors over".
The lady looked at me, I looked at her, and she replied, "Holy Sh*$, I had no idea. That's amazing."
At that point, I could not contain my laughter. Thankfully, she had a good sense of humor, and was pretty understanding about us bringing the wrong refrigerator.
I was speaking with one of my coworkers today who's wife is a phamacist. She told him about one of their pharm techs and what she said to a customer. A customer came up to the counter, submitted their order and asked how long it would be. The tech said, "It will be about an hour." I guess the customer just lost it, complaining about how long it was, yada yada yada. To which the tech replied, "I'm sorry sir, but you're not the only one on drugs!"
-------------------- Change of plans General Eisenhower...instead of an invasion of Normandy, we're going to smoke pot and play bongos on the shore of the English Channel and hope that the Germans see this and stop killing Jews.
Quote: I was speaking with one of my coworkers today who's wife is a phamacist. She told him about one of their pharm techs and what she said to a customer. A customer came up to the counter, submitted their order and asked how long it would be. The tech said, "It will be about an hour." I guess the customer just lost it, complaining about how long it was, yada yada yada. To which the tech replied, "I'm sorry sir, but you're not the only one on drugs!"
That is beautiful.
-------------------- The Graphic Artist Formerly Know as “Thomas E. Donaldson”
Thomas E. Donaldson - HuDo Graphics Boat Lettering, Decals, Logo Designs and MUCH MORE!
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Quote: Several years ago I was blazing up Hwy 71 in the middle of the night heading to Ifalls. I hadn't seen signs of a human being for 20 minutes, so I was making time!!! I witnessed ahead of me headlights I deemed too far apart and too high for a patrol. I never touched my brakes as I whistled past the truck. I watched in amazement the unit hit his breaks and swing around behind me. Still thinking "NO WAY!!!" I held speed. The unit is now closing in on me, and I was flying. YIKES! As I pulled over the patrol nearly ran up to my vehicle and as if at a loss for words proceeded to ask me how fast I was going. I replied "I'm Not sure" officer asks again "Do YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE GOING!!!" Again I answer "I'm not sure" Again he repeats after a few seconds pause!! "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!!!!????" I answer "If I guess it righ on am I going to get out of this ticket???" He chuckled as he peered over his glasses to see if I was for real. LOL!!! WOuldn't suggest that response.
I had a simular thing a couple of years ago in Anoka. 2:30 in the morning on Hwy 10 a Anoka cop was "hiding" under an over pass with his lights off. I went blowing by about 75 mph and here he comes. I pulled over and he asked if I knew why I got pulled over. Well I was sober, all my lights worked and I was speeding so I said to him " I would guess for speeding". He says, "how fast were you going?" Well I've been pulled over enough to know if he asked that then he didn't have me on radar, besides I was p.o.ed he hid under the over pass with his lights off. So I said to him "64"............he gave me this look and said "You said you got pulled over for speeding and now you say you were only going 64, that doesn't make sense. How fast were you going?" I said again......"64". You could see him starting to do the slow burn he took my liscense, turned and went to his squad and checked the liscense.
When he can back to my truck he asked again "How fast were you going?" I replied.........."64". He told me he was going to let me go and I should slow down.
So...............if you get pulled over on Hwy 10 in Anoka by a rookie cop hiding under an over pass with his lights off, feel free to have a little fun, just make sure you are completely legal.
I had a truck driver come into the office after loading his truck and he was 180lbs overweight and wanted to know what we could do about it...I told him to go take 10lbs of air out of each tire then he would be legal...had to stop him, he was actually gonna do it...18 wheels x 10lbs, how many of these guys are out there on our roads!
Quote: I had a truck driver come into the office after loading his truck and he was 180lbs overweight and wanted to know what we could do about it...I told him to go take 10lbs of air out of each tire then he would be legal...had to stop him, he was actually gonna do it...18 wheels x 10lbs, how many of these guys are out there on our roads!
You should have told him to kick the lot lizard out of his camper. That would have freed up 240lbs.
-------------------- The Graphic Artist Formerly Know as “Thomas E. Donaldson”
Thomas E. Donaldson - HuDo Graphics Boat Lettering, Decals, Logo Designs and MUCH MORE!
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Send me a Private Message or E-mail for FREE work quotes!
As a vacationing business man was at the counter getting a lb. of leeches he gets his bill. He checks the bill and says, " Are you sure this is right??"
To which the resort owner replies straight faced..."Nah, I'm Fking you!"
Can you guess the Mille Lacs resort owner that made this statement??
BIRDDOG
-------------------- FOR BETTER OR WORSE, FISHING AND HUNTING COME FIRST
Quote: I had a truck driver come into the office after loading his truck and he was 180lbs overweight and wanted to know what we could do about it...I told him to go take 10lbs of air out of each tire then he would be legal...had to stop him, he was actually gonna do it...18 wheels x 10lbs, how many of these guys are out there on our roads!
You should have told him to kick the lot lizard out of his camper. That would have freed up 240lbs.
boy, them lot lizzards are getting smaller, the ones I have heard stories about from my uncle that drove, that was a small one, try closer to 350 a lizzard.
shane
-------------------- there is nothing more thrilling that seeing a kid smile after catching a fish!
Another favorite of mine is pricing on new home construction. Before ever reviewing what is all included with our homes, people will most often ask "How much are your homes a square foot?"
Which I respond with " We sell homes just like cars - BY THE POUND!
-------------------- The ONLY thing worse than losing.........IS QUITTING!!!!!!!
Prostaff: Gamakatsu. Culprit. RipTide. Kistler Rods. Burris Scopes.
Favorite lines for irate customers....
Re: Favorite lines for irate customers....
I get the green light to say whatever i feel is needed at the moment as long as it is necesary. I used to get real fired up but that just stresses me out! So now my big one is when a driver will call in with some STUPID questions I kindly answer the question and say hey do you want me to come drive the truck for ya ,too....usually a pause of silence or a click...yet to hear anything dumb from any of them again to 
he took my liscense, turned and went to his squad and checked the liscense.
